With the summer fast approaching, Brits up and down the Isles are having to move everything out of their sheds so they can get to the old barbecue grill at the back. The British love a barbecue, and you can expect to be hosting and attending your fair share over the course of the summer! However, the ancient art of barbecue has a few unwritten rules that thou should never break. Here are our big seven barbecue “no-nos” that you should avoid at all costs!
1) Not checking the weather
This one may seem obvious, but it’s one that’s too often overlooked. In Britain, we like to make the most of our sunshine – we don’t get very much of it, so at the slightest hint of a crack in the clouds, the shorts come out, the shirts come off, and the smell of charcoal starts to emanate from suburban gardens. But we really should know better – from experience we know how erratic and unpredictable British weather is! Plan in advance! Check the forecast! If there’s a chance of rain, set up a gazebo! Oh, and remember – we live in Britain! Just because it’s sunny doesn’t necessarily mean it’s warm – that wind’s a serious party pooper!
2) No lawn furniture
When your guests arrive, they might not say it, but if they see furniture from the dining room dragged outside, they’re going to be judging you; silently but surely! Not to mention, those dining chairs are going to ruin the grass, and they’ll take some washing – especially if you’re unlucky with the weather! Have a look at our cool range of lawn furniture and inject a bit of class into your barbecue!
3) Not considering guests’ diets and preferences
Believe it or not, not everyone lives on a diet of bangers and burgers. This is why it’s a good idea to RSVP – ask people to specify if they have any dietary requirements or preferences – some may be vegetarians, and others’ diets may be affected for religious reasons. You don’t want guests arriving and not being able to eat anything – you might look a bit silly!
4) Inviting “that guy”
You know the one. Oh, don’t give me that; look, I know you think he’s alright, but he’s just not everyone’s cup of tea. I understand – he lent you a couple of quid a few years ago – but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable for him to come over with no booze, drink everyone else’s, and then start trying it on with people’s girlfriends! It’s just not acceptable! Just don’t tell him about it!
5) Poor music choice
Alright, granddad, listen; nobody wants to hear Status Quo. They weren’t even good in the 70s. Or, if you’re a bit more of a hipster than that, consider that perhaps not everyone at the barbecue is totally into your post-industrial technocore alternative dubstep. At the very least have some nice, neutral-sounding, chilled out beats, but the best thing you can do is have a laptop set up to some speakers, so that everyone gets a choice of song! That said, once everyone’s a bit merry, a bit of 80’s cheese might not be as badly-accepted as you’d think…
6) Showing off
Barbecuing seems to be a man’s thing. Whilst the kitchen isn’t exactly a “man-cave”, for some reason, the great outdoors seems to trigger that long-dormant “provider” instinct inside of the British male. There’s something very manly about cooking meat outside – even if you have just bought it from Aldi rather than caught it yourself with nothing but a spear. But, guys, don’t show off – especially you, Mr. Chef. I know after a few beers and a bit of meat the testosterone levels get a bit unstable, but keep it civil, and keep the sausages under control, eh?
7) Sacrificing burgers to the Fire Gods
If you can’t tell the sausages from the lumps of charcoal, and you could smash a window with your burgers, then it’s probably time to invest in a new grill. Say goodbye to the days of sooty sausages with the smoke-free Lotus Grill – instant, compact and easy-to use, it’ll make the whole barbecue go a whole lot more smoothly. Oh, and you don’t even have to worry about the chore of cleaning up anymore – the Lotus Grill is dishwasher friendly! Just be sure to get some paper plates in.
What are your top BBQ No-NO’s?
So there we are, our 7 BBQ “no-nos”. We hope that you’ve learned a thing or two about how NOT to throw a barbecue, and that as summer approaches, you’ll use this list to make sure everything goes nice and smoothly on the day! If you’ve been to (or even thrown) any blunderous barbecues of your own, please let us know in the comments – we won’t make fun of you, we promise!